Back to School Tips for Grieving Families
A new school year can bring out a lot of emotions in your child and even in yourself, especially when you add grief into the equation. There is always a chance of unexpected challenges like meeting new people who don’t know your story, or a new class subject that the person who died might have helped them with.
At Comfort Zone Camp, we understand that the unknown can be a scary thing for both you and your child as you enter a new school year. Here are some practical tips and tricks for you to navigate this transition together.
School Can Trigger Grief
Back to school naturally comes with mixed emotions, but for grieving children, familiar activities like buying supplies or meeting new teachers can bring up unexpected sadness or anxiety. It may remind them of the person who is no longer there. These feelings are normal. Prepare yourself and your child that some moments might be more challenging than expected.
Tell School Staff About Your Loss
New teachers and staff may not know your child’s story. Setting up your child for success in this situation might mean sending a brief email or having a quick conversation with teachers, counselors, and coaches about your family’s loss. This action helps them understand your child’s needs and avoid accidentally saying something hurtful. (This is important to do each school year, no matter how much time has passed.)
Create Special Traditions
It is easy sometimes to want to revert to old traditions as an attempt to maintain normalcy, but it may be more impactful to create new family traditions, while also keeping old ones if needed.For example, after the first day or when your child gets an award, do something special together – a favorite meal, a small celebration, or quiet time to talk. This act gives your child positive moments to look forward to and creates space to share feelings or memories.
Handle Forms Together
School paperwork asking for family information can be emotionally challenging and draining. To ease the burden, take time to fill out forms together instead of leaving your child to do it alone. It is vital that when things feel too heavy, you know to take breaks if needed and plan something comforting afterward. Modeling this in front of your child will help them establish boundaries for themselves when things start to feel overwhelming.
Additional Quick Tips
Daily Check-ins: Create a routine to ask how your child is feeling, not just about school itself, but about life in general. Let them know they don’t have to wait until you ask how they are doing. They are able to talk to you whenever they are ready.
Plan for Hard Days: Prepare for challenging school activities like family projects, parents’ night, or family-oriented events. Have a plan, like visiting the counselor, doing an alternative activity, or asking your child what they might need to feel supported.
Go Slow: Don’t rush your child back into all activities or friendships. Each new school year will look different every time. It is essential to meet them where they are at and let them reconnect at their own pace.
Reminder
Some school days will be more complicated than others, and that’s okay. Keep talking with your child, advocate for their needs, and remember that grief doesn’t follow a timeline.
The goal isn’t to get them to move on from their loss, but to move forward from it, hoping they learn to carry love and loss while still embracing new experiences and finding joy again without guilt. Take it one day at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you need it.
